Q&A Forum | Boundaries vs. Inappropriate Attire

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Modesty is evidence of the breakthrough of the stronghold of vanity. As followers of Christ both male and female, we must all take into account not just our character & decorum but also how our Christ-like traits translate through our appearance. In following the Example of our Messiah King Yeshua, modesty is also a gauge that communicates our boundaries and standards without a single word spoken. If we think about what holiness looks likes, what it sounds like, and what it feels likes, then we can exude that and walk in the appearance of holiness just as our High Priest does in heaven and as He did on earth.

May we be found to be examples of modesty and not hypocrites as we live by The Holy Standard of God and share His Good News.

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Someone recently presented the following question:


My mom threatened to burn my clothing that she didn’t buy because they’re a little revealing. I’m an adult living in her house but I bought them with my own money. She threatens to destroy the clothes because she thinks they’re too revealing. I still live with her as a dependent. Isn’t this illegal?


This is what can be complicated about living at home as an adult.

You and your parent(s) have to learn boundaries and respect. It’s your mother’s house and as long as you live there you’ll have to respect her rules. If you are in the early adult stage, [the transition from teen to young adulthood] then in general it can be difficult for parents to understand and know how they should treat their children who are no longer kids. An adult of mature age living at home could experience similar issues in the reversion back to childhood in this kind of treatment.

Boundaries, Respect, Standards, and Communication in Love are key.

With that said, your mother cannot damage your clothing because it’s your property that you purchased with your own money. By law, she cannot do this, and more importantly, on a personal level, she’ll be creating an uneasy strain on your relationship. At the same time, you are treading on a fine line of damaging the integrity of the bond you and your mother share.

If you want to dress like a harlot that’s your freedom of choice but it comes with consequences that you may not welcome or want. For instance, you may like the look but may not want to give the impression of being easy or loose. You may not want the assumption that you’re looking for a good time, yet the attention that will be attracted to your “look” will be all about that. Not to mention that the “look” of a harlot will attract other harlots/jezebels and at that point it doesn’t matter how much of a “good” heart you have, it’ll be guilt by association….for bad company corrupts good morals.

Unfortunately, when your appearance is not modest it communicates statements that are the opposite of respect and self-control. Therefore, unwelcome behavior and offensive statements may follow you wherever you go. This is a recipe for disaster when it comes to your safety and well-being as well. It can also set a precedent for kinships or relationships that will be more about fornication and less about love and marriage. Harlotry screams things like “short-term, don’t handle with care, disrespect, lack of love“. HOWEVER, modesty proclaims things such as “value, high-standard, respect, and decency“.

Surely, this is a chaotic world and anything can happen at any time, to anyone. However, we all have to be mindful of the outward appearance influencing unwelcome behaviors.

Granted everyone must learn self-control and self-discipline.

This is why The Bible is so important for God’s Word allows believers to understand His Holy Standard that we live by and it becomes a gauge in our lives to set boundaries and standards apart from the world. In this, we experience the physical and spiritual manifestation of God’s hedge of protection.

Not only does Yeshua guide us spiritually but He also shows us through His Example how to protect ourselves…modesty in our appearance is one of the many examples of this.

Your mom just wants to protect you from the bias and mistreatment that can come from those assumptions based on your appearance/clothing…it’d be better to have an adult conversation with you as opposed to treating you like a teenager.

You may or may not outgrow this phase in your life but how this issue is handled by you and your mom can have lasting effects that can lead to a whole slew of dysfunctional attributes in the way you treat and speak to one another. Or it can set the stage for a positive outcome that can bridge the gap in how you both operate as individuals and lend to compromise that can reach levels of understanding without infringing on lines of respect.

I hope the two of you can come to a peaceful resolution to preserve your relationship.

All the best.

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As believers, we can make a difference, whether by acts of kindness, partaking in conversation, or simply answering a question, these events are opportunities to show what the mind of Christ looks like. Thereby, applying Biblical principles to circumstances we face in our everyday lives and daily living.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 NKJV
in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.
1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
Galatians 5:13 NIV
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

Beauty and Sensuality are not the same.

Be holy for He Is Holy.

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LuvsCure Ministries (LCM), is an outreach of humanitarian effort with the purpose of spreading The Good News of The Gospel to open hearts everywhere. To bring The Word of God to those who have an ear to hear and eyes to see, so that they can grow in faith by hearing The Truth; thereby having a Revelation of Jesus Christ our Lord.

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